The Back-to-work Blues or Happy Dance?

Hard to believe, but the year is up and my maternity leave has come to an end. (My apologies for not having posted in a while, but the return to work has been crazy hectic! I wrote this post 2 weeks ago and only now have had the time to edit it… :S ) I had mixed feelings about going back to work… sad to be away from my girls, but happy to have a break from them too. Wanting to stay home but wanting to return to my career. I don’t think I have ever been so conflicted about a decision before… and this is coming from the girl who tried on 50 wedding dresses before her bridesmaids said “enough is enough, just pick one!” I’m still not sure I picked the right dress, but I definitely picked the right man, and in the end, that’s all that really matters. 🙂

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After a week (and a short one at that!) of back at work, I’m still conflicted. I enjoy the fact that I can have adult conversation on a daily basis and that I can go pee without an entourage, but I think I spent my first two days at work constantly thinking about and missing my girls. I have a photo of them on my desk, along with a foam purple unicorn that Bean made, and I smile every time I see them. It was a fairly easy first week back, so I can’t complain, and I am slowly readjusting to the working world — remembering where things are kept and how to do x, y and z.

However, this past week, my parents have been staying with us to help ease my transition — and thank heaven for that! They have dropped the girls off at school every day (and also gotten them ready in the morning), not to mention keeping the house clean, organizing the chaos that passes for storage in our unfinished basement and making dinner. I am so grateful for all of their help! However, it has given me the illusion that I can do it all! The thought of trying to corral two kids out the door in the morning and still make it into work on time scares me a little. Not to mention racing out of work to get the kids before the dreaded “late” fees begin ($2/minute in case you were wondering), making it home in time to make dinner, feed the kids, bathe them, and get them into bed before they lose it from being overtired and the metaphorical poo hits the fan (6pm for El, 7 for Bean).

Three weeks in: I am proud to say that I have managed to make it into work AND pick the kids up on time, somehow get dinner on the table and the kids into bed. (Admittedly with help most evenings…) Yes, I fall asleep with the kids on a daily basis, but I’m finding peace with my decision, and that makes this momma happy. Wishing you all peace with whatever major decisions you’re facing!


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