It’s not everyday that you get to wake up to vomit spattering across your face. Although perhaps I should back up a bit…

One hour prior: I wake up to Bean crying from her room. Hubby offers to go, and although I know I won’t be able to sleep while she’s crying, at least I can lie here (in bed) in the dark with my eyes closed. Then I hear her (in between sobs) telling Hubby that she “throwed up” a bit. I can tell that he’s not awake enough to read the alarm in that as he’s asking her something about saliva. I stumble down the hall and warn them both before I turn on the light. Sure enough, there’s vomit on her pyjamas, all over her bed, and horror of horrors, on her lovey. Oh dear. Ok. It’s 3am; I don’t really want to deal with this right now. We get Bean into some clean pyjamas and the offer of snuggling with us (and a substitute buddy) in our bed. Rookie mistake.

Fast forward to 4am… which is when I wake up to vomit spattering across my face. Of course, I don’t register that fact right away, as I hear Bean retching and I sit up to help her (she’s still lying down). I’ve never seen vomit like that before. It was as if she was a Parisian fountain. Except that instead of a beautifully sculpted woman, it’s my sick 4-year-old, and instead of quiet gurgling water, it’s an odd-coloured chunky red vomit. But it just keeps on coming… in waves almost. I can’t do anything other than stare in disbelief. The vomit finally stops and the poor kid starts crying. There is vomit all over her, in her hair, on my pillow, the sheets, the duvet, me… it’s at that point that I realize there’s vomit on my face and down my arm. Oh joy.


Statue Water Angel Versailles Basin Fountain

One of the four seasons fountains at Versailles


I assess the situation and decide that Bean is top priority, followed by the bed, and then me. Hubby grabs a roll of paper towels and we try to pick up the red chunks and scoop as much of it as we can her from hair & the bed while almost simultaneously asking her What did you eat??? Obviously I’m not the only one puzzled at the red vomit.

We divide and conquer. Hubby cleans up Bean (bath time!) while I’m tasked with the bed. Both beds for that matter. Sigh. I wash the vomit off of my face and find Bean a 3rd pair of warm clean pyjamas. I don’t even need to look at our bed to know that nobody’s going to sleep in that again tonight. I schlep several loads of laundry down to the basement and get the first load into the washer. Hubby & I decide that snuggles on the couch are in order.

But I’m learning. First, I put a thick blanket down on the couch (lest the Parisian fountain starts up again), then I get a large bowl and teach Bean how to vomit in the bucket. We bundle her up in blankets and are thinking about maybe getting some sleep when I look at the clock… it’s just after 5am by that point. Fairly sure that Bean’s going to vomit again soon, I suggest bracing for vomigeddon instead. Sure enough, it starts up again, but miraculously my little Parisian fountain is actually using the bowl. Sweet! I think it’s around 5:15 when we turn off the lights and try to fall asleep sitting up (Bean is stretched out on the couch). I don’t even have time to drift into dreamland before I hear El wake up… a quick glance at the clock confirms that she’s up for the day.

The rest of my day is spent in a strange cycle of snuggle Bean, change my shirt, snuggle El and keep her away from Bean, change my shirt, empty out and clean the vomit bowl, give Bean another quick snuggle, change my shirt, and on and on… (In case you’re wondering, I was changing my shirt (back and forth between 2) in an effort to prevent El from getting the flu… old wives tale? Perhaps. But I was willing to give it a try and it was much easier than getting El to eat a clove of garlic.)

Bean recovers and I think it’s a miracle that no one else caught it. Until 2 days later I’m not feeling so good… needless to say, the flu swept through our family. Thankfully though it was the week before Christmas, so by December 24th we’re all healthy again. And as far as I know, we didn’t infect any of my extended family either. 😉

Despite being late in posting this, I hope that you all had Happy Holidays. Here’s to wishing you health & happiness in the New Year.


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